When I had my first child, my husband was watching MTV (in the birthing room) during the birth. We almost had to name the kid "Al" cuz he was born to Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al." Later, the hospital had a steak dinner for the new parents. He didn't show up; I later found out he was busy getting a blow job from a 15-year-old at the tiem.
Second child, my mother-in-law showed up a couple of weeks before I was due and started demanding that I give birth on her time schedule. She was so evil that my blood pressure skyrocketed and my doctor said that I had toxemia and that if I didn't get that woman out or move to a hotel myself, I'd die.
I'm jealous of all those perfect people who have Better Homes and Gardens fairy tale birthings, too. I know how you feel!
On the up side, I'd bet a million dollars that if you ever had a baby with your current man, we couldn't pry him out of the hospital with a crowbar. And I'll bet you'd have a room full of flowers and balloons and friends waiting in the hall to see you because of the two-guests-per-patient restriction!
I feel ya
Second child, my mother-in-law showed up a couple of weeks before I was due and started demanding that I give birth on her time schedule. She was so evil that my blood pressure skyrocketed and my doctor said that I had toxemia and that if I didn't get that woman out or move to a hotel myself, I'd die.
I'm jealous of all those perfect people who have Better Homes and Gardens fairy tale birthings, too. I know how you feel!
On the up side, I'd bet a million dollars that if you ever had a baby with your current man, we couldn't pry him out of the hospital with a crowbar. And I'll bet you'd have a room full of flowers and balloons and friends waiting in the hall to see you because of the two-guests-per-patient restriction!
I guess you've come a long way, baby...